That DREADED Feeling: What to Do When You Dread Your Job
Here’s a quick (and unscientific) test to see if you are burned out on your job.
Question: It is the night before returning to work after a few days off. What emotion are you feeling?
A) DREAD.
B) Nothing in particular. You are preparing to get some sleep because you have work tomorrow.
If you answered A, you may be burned out on your job.
DREAD is how my burned-out clients describe their feelings about their jobs.
They DREAD going to work.
They DREAD being at work.
They DREAD the work tasks they have to do.
They DREAD having to interact with certain coworkers.
They DREAD the meetings that feel pointless and last forever.
It might have started with a small sense of DREAD that grew slowly over many years. Or the DREAD might have come on like a tsunami right when the job started.
WHAT IS DREAD?
DREAD is a feeling.
When you feel DREAD, you are anticipating something negative. You fear that something bad is going to happen. You are apprehensive about some future situation.
When you DREAD going to work, it is likely that you are anticipating how you will feel when you are at work.
You might anticipate feeling:
Overwhelmed by all your work responsibilities.
Criticized by coworkers or supervisors.
Worried that others will discover you don’t know what you are doing.
Angry about being undervalued.
Frustrated about not doing the work you really want to be doing.
Bored at not being challenged enough.
Stuck in this job forever.
WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF DREADING YOUR JOB?
Our feelings influence our thoughts and our behaviors.
This means that when you feel DREAD about your job, you are likely having a bunch of negative thoughts about your job.
Some common negative thoughts that accompany that feeling of DREAD are:
“I will never get all of this work done. I will never be able to relax.”
“I don’t know what I am doing.”
“I hate this job.”
“What if I say something stupid and make a fool of myself.”
“I am worth so much more than what they are paying me.”
“I always get the grunt work that no one sees or appreciates.”
“My supervisor doesn’t support me.”
These negative thoughts influence how you feel and how you behave at work. They drain you of physical and emotional energy, making it harder to be productive.
Concentrating and focusing on work tasks may be difficult, making you less efficient.
If you are worried about feeling stupid or being criticized, you may spend more time than is necessary trying to make your work perfect, making it harder to get all of your work done.
HOW TO REDUCE THAT FEELING OF DREAD?
The first step is recognizing when you are feeling DREAD.
In order to reduce the dread, you first have to identify what it is and when you are experiencing it.
People may experience DREAD differently. For some, it is a physical sensation, like a tightening in the chest or a pit in their stomach. For others, DREAD is anxiety, like butterflies in the stomach or sweaty palms.
DREAD might also be a visual image, like being sucked under a big wave. Or you might recognize DREAD as a specific thought you have over and over such as “I hate this job.”
Next, pay attention to the thoughts and other feelings that accompany this sense of DREAD. What are those thoughts and feelings about? In other words, identify WHAT you are dreading.
Work tasks and responsibilities?
Specific people?
General culture of the work environment?
Fear of failure?
Trying to avoid negative feedback?
Finally, evaluate the things you are dreading and determine which ones you may be able to change, and which ones you cannot change.
For example, if you dread your job because you are not enjoying the work tasks, maybe it is time to consider a career transition.
If you dislike the people or work culture at your job, consider whether you may be able to shift to another project or team or work under a different supervisor.
If you are constantly worrying that you are going to look stupid and everyone will know you really don’t know what you are doing (classic Imposter Syndrome thoughts), reach out to a colleague or supervisor and ask for feedback on your work, or find someone who can provide mentoring.
WHAT IF YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE JOB AND CANNOT LEAVE THE JOB?
I know that some of you at this point are rolling your eyes and saying, “I am totally stuck. I cannot change anything about my job, and I cannot leave this job.”
I hear you.
I work with a lot of clients who dread their jobs and who, for different reasons, are not able or ready to make any changes in the job.
When you cannot change the job, your best option is to consider what you are willing to change about yourself.
Specifically, you will need to change how you are thinking about your job. That is, you can work on reframing those negative thoughts, so they have less power over your feelings and behavior.
This is not easy. It is not a quick-fix solution. But if you are really stuck in your job, this is the part you have some control over.
For example, the night before going to work when you are thinking “I hate this job,” identify a positive aspect about your job.
You might say, “This job pays me well and that is important to me right now.”
Or “I am good at this job and it is nice to feel competent.”
Or “People need me at work, and I enjoy being helpful.”
Or “What joy can I bring to others at work, so they do not feel like I do?”
Find whatever reframe works so that you feel more in control, rather than letting your negative feelings be in control.
If making these types of reframes is difficult, you are a normal person.
It takes dedication and persistence to keep challenging those negative thoughts that zap you of energy and replace them with more positive thoughts.
But over time you can reduce that feeling of DREAD, which will increase your overall work and life satisfaction.