When Work Knocks You Down: Recovering from Negative Job Experiences
In my previous job as a professor, I worked hard to be a good colleague and “team player.” I volunteered when something needed to get done, picked up extra courses, took on additional students, and headed up committees.
I assumed that when I needed help in the future, the folks in my department would return the favor.
I’m sure you can see where this story is going.
I learned the hard way that being a helpful colleague did not ensure that anyone would help me out when I needed it.
I remember leading our new student orientation meeting with my baby daughter strapped to my chest because our program director abruptly quit and none of my colleagues would help me out.
I felt unvalued, overworked, and beaten down. I eventually worked up the courage to leave that job.
In my job now I work with many people who have been knocked down by bad experiences in their jobs and I help them recover and move forward in their lives.
When work knocks you down.
There are many different ways that work can knock people down.
Losing your job can be devastating even when you know it is coming. Living under constant threat of losing your job is a whole other kind of job hell.
The people we work with, work for, or work to help can make our jobs wonderful – and they can also make them miserable.
We can work for companies with such toxic cultures that having supportive colleagues and supervisors does not protect us from the negative effects of the work environment.
Those negative work experiences can have long-lasting effects on our confidence, career goals, and ability to objectively evaluate our strengths.
Recovering from bad work experiences
Sometimes just leaving a bad job is all it takes to feel better and move forward. For me, however, it was only after I left my job that I was able to process how difficult it had been. Until I left, all my focus went into getting through each workday.
The negative effects from a bad job experience can linger and spill over into your next job or make it harder to talk positively about your work experiences in a job interview.
Here are a few steps to help you process a negative job experience so you can move forward in your working life:
IDENTIFY WHAT MADE YOUR JOB EXPERIENCE DIFFICULT.
Naming the specific aspects that were difficult is important so you can understand your experience and avoid the same situation in your next job.
What made it difficult?
Was it the people? What was it about those people that made your job difficult?
Was it the work? What was it about the job tasks you were doing that made you miserable?
Was it the work environment? What was it about where you worked, the work culture, or organization policies that were difficult?
How did you feel?
Label the emotions you felt while in the job and feel now thinking about the negative experiences.
Do you feel anxious? Undervalued? Overworked? Underpaid? Bullied? Unappreciated? Unmotivated? Angry? Frustrated? Taken advantage of? Depressed? Scared?
IDENTIFY WHAT YOU LEARNED FROM THE NEGATIVE JOB EXPERIENCES.
Reframe the way you are thinking about the negative experiences as lessons learned.
What have you learned about yourself from the experience?
What career strengths became clear to you in how you handled the situation?
How did the experience influence your career goals?
For example, I learned how to identify my work priorities, how to say no to tasks that did not advance my priorities, and how to ask for what I needed at work rather than assuming people would know. I learned that my strengths include helping people feel valued and understood, being organized, and communicating effectively. My negative work experiences propelled me to make a career transition and create a working life that fit better with who I am.
TELL THE STORY OF THAT JOB EXPERIENCE IN A NEW, POSITIVE WAY.
Once you can reflect on the bad job experience, you can rewrite the “story” of this experience in your life. (If you are still in the negative work experience, this step may be harder, but is still important to prepare you for interviewing for other positions if you decide to leave).
Think about how you will answer the question, “Why did you leave your last job?” or “Why are you looking to leave your job?”
Your initial thought might be, “I had a horrible boss who was a bully, took credit for my work, and encouraged a cut-throat, gossipy environment. I do not know how I stayed so long in that toxic place.” That is one version of the story that happened, but not the one you want to tell in an interview.
Now, reframe that to create another version of the story – a story that highlights the positive aspects you have taken from that job and emphasizes your strengths and career goals. For example, “While I have enjoyed developing strategies that make our projects run more smoothly, I am looking to build on my communication and management skills and take on more leadership roles.”
Moving forward
Recovering from a negative job experience can take time. You may feel knocked down for a while, but you will not feel this way forever.
Find supportive people in your life, or work with a career counselor or coach, who will listen to your experiences without judgment and who will be there as you pick yourself up and move forward into the next phase of your career.